Today has been a day of learning, reflection and gratitude.
When I set out to do this 30-day journey, I was excited to see where it would take me, but I had ZERO expectations around it. I had simply planned to focus a little time each day on a scripture, some prayer and showing intentional kindness in my daily interactions.
For years now, reading scripture has been very difficult for me. As a child of ministry leaders in a very conservative church culture, I grew up with scripture being not only a daily part of our routine but also a part of the majority of our everyday conversations. I lived with this routine well into my 30's, until one day, I just couldn't stand to read scripture anymore. I was so tired of it being twisted and used to manipulate or hold people emotionally hostage in fear, that even verses that once brought me joy and comfort became a source of irritation instead. To this day, it is still a challenge to read certain scriptures without having feelings of anger and frustration well up inside.
Now that I am seeing God more as a loving guide and not so much as a sadistic dictator, scripture reads much differently for me and with much less angst.
Still, it's been a slow process including scripture back into my life. Because of this, I had no plan in place to follow this month - no book or chapters I planned to read. I simply just wanted to wake each day and see what the day held. I wanted to remain open to search out verses that might meet a need or answer a question at hand, possibly even just wait until a verse from the back of my memory surfaced. I basically wanted to face each day with an open heart and mind to what God wanted to bring for that day.
At nearly the halfway point of the month, I've reflected throughout the day on how this journey has brought some great life lessons and answers to some long-standing questions I've had, and ultimately, new meaning to my life. There have been some tough days and some moments of confusion, but in those moments, I have been reminded that I am well cared for and that details are working together for my good. I'm grateful for this goodness, and I'm grateful that I can be a catalyst for good in this grand scheme of life.
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