A More Powerful YOU!

Today was one of the best days ever. Well, maybe not completely from start to finish, but I have to rank it up there with one of the best simply because of what I experienced. 

To start off, it was my birthday, and I went to bed the night before determined not to let little things get me bent out of shape today. I'm glad I resolved that early, otherwise, today could have quite possibly been a very different day. 

It seemed to take me forever to get things done and get out the door this afternoon, but I finally left and set off down the road to get my almost-free birthday lunch. 

Everything was going to work out perfectly ...

I could go there to enjoy my lunch while working on a few things. 

Then, I could head over to the farm nearby to pick up strawberries. For the first time I can remember, I would have actual fresh-picked strawberries for my birthday! Yay! 

After that, I could head north to Bentonville to do some delivering for a couple hours before grabbing stuff for dinner on my way home. 

Perfect plan. Except, that wasn't what happened. 

I went to said café for my birthday lunch only to find out that this location was independently franchised from the other location and my reward code wasn't good there. The only reason I had chosen to go there was to use my birthday reward, so I left. 

No big deal. I'll just go grab the strawberries first and then head to the other location in Bentonville since I'm headed that direction anyway. Except, the farm doesn't open for another 30 minutes. Well, this is definitely going to throw my plans off quite a bit because now, I'm going to be eating lunch later than my already late lunchtime, have less time to do work at the café, and then, be out delivering later than I'd planned. 

There wasn't much of a choice really. I either had to adjust my sails and ride this wave or give up something. I didn't want to give up anything, so I went with the adjusted timeline of events. 

It was in those 30 minutes of shifting around that I received a beautiful gift. It was one of the most overwhelmingly evident moments of God's love that I have ever experienced. 

I usually don't like to share things like this publicly, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm supposed to share for some reason, so let me tell you about those 30 minutes. 

At first, I just drove around taking the long way to get back to the farm location, even driving around a nearby neighborhood, but I still found myself with 15 minutes to kill, so I stopped in a parking lot and decided to reply to a few birthday messages. It was there that I saw a homeless woman by the side of the road with what appeared to be her entire earthly possessions all piled into a large wagon. You could tell she was trying to stay in the shade. It was a beautiful day today, but the sun was hot, so I'm guessing she was trying to stay cool. 

I didn't see any evidence of a sign she might be holding requesting money or help. She was simply sitting there peacefully. 

It got me thinking, "I wonder what it would be like to be homeless?" I've pondered this question before but never so deeply as today when I sat there trying to place myself in her shoes. It's hard to put words to the feelings I felt in that moment as I considered all of the experiences that might be missed by being in that situation. Suddenly, my rearranged lunch plans didn't seem like such a big deal. 

As I got ready to back out of the parking space, I couldn't help but feel like I should do something more than just wish her well through prayers at a distance. As I pulled out of the parking lot, the thought came to me, "I wonder if she likes strawberries?" 

For someone like me who LOVES strawberries, that's a silly question. Everyone should love strawberries, right? :-)

I decided to take my chances and when I went to pick up the 2 quarts I ordered, I bought an extra one and headed back to her. I really didn't know what to do or say, but I parked the car, grabbed the quart of strawberries and got out. 

As soon as I approached her, I said, "Excuse me. Do you happen to like strawberries?" 

She was weather-beaten and worn, but she looked up at me with a sweet smile of surprise and said, "I do!" 

I proceeded to tell her that I had just bought some from the farm down the road and wanted to give these to her. She thanked me and we both wished each other a great day. 

I almost didn't make it back to the car before my eyes welled up with tears. In that moment, I was physically overwhelmed by an immense amount of God's love all around me. 

I wondered, "Is this what Heaven on earth feels like?"  

I've been learning a lot lately about what that really means (heaven - the kingdom of God - on earth). I believe I just experienced it today in the grateful smile of a homeless woman on the side of the road. 

My mind feels like it's buzzing right now. I've been continuing to listen to the "Quantum Christianity: Believe Again" audio book that I mentioned a few days back, and I've taken in so much today that I feel like my thoughts still need some sorting before making total sense of them. It's been difficult for me to think of much else, though, so that's where I am tonight and from that place is where I'll share. 

This book has definitely landed in my lap at just the perfect time that I needed it. 

You see, it's because of my studying the natural world over the past several years that I've come back to a renewed faith in God. 

I'm not sure where my interest and love for all of this started because I've always loved the outdoors and to dig, rummage in nature, search out and scout for things like rocks, crystals, shells, sticks, etc. In more recent years with learning about more natural living and how that all works in tandem with our bodies, I've been blown away by what I've learned. It's fascinating stuff! With every new fact I've learned or experience I've had, I have continued to come to the realization that it's hard to deny that a truly loving God exists who would create an entire universe filled with intricacies that matter and that work so significantly together for our good. 

Much of the Christian world I have known has denied or, at the very least, downplays the significances of what we've been given in nature, often brushing it off as some kind of woo. If only more people would take a deeper look rather than dismissing it ... They are missing so much! 

I've heard it said most of my life that people who fall into such a category, of which I'd probably be included, were simply worshipping the creation over the Creator. That might be the case for some, but I'd argue it's not true of all. For me, personally, it's because of the awesomeness of creation and what science and the natural world has revealed that I've come to find a greater love and understanding of the Creator. 

When I look at all that's out there simply within plain sight ... clouds, blue skies, rainbows, sunsets, ocean waves, mountains, flowers, trees, birds and all kinds of other creatures. All that alone is quite magnificent. However, when I look more closely at how those things manifest, grow and exist, and THEN, add into that the intricate workings of the human body and mind and how we are able to interact with each other. How can I not see a loving God who gave such amazing gifts? 

That brings me to where I am with the quantum physics and what (little) I've learned about it so far. It's easy to see it as woo if you're only willing to take a peek from the outside, but start to scratch the surface of what it really is and combine that with anything you have experienced or known about the power of God, and WOW! It's literally left me mind blown. 

I did not expect to go deep during these 30 days, but in the past few days, all the details of my life seem to be colliding. It's as if all the pieces have been dumped into a giant pile much like dumping a 1000-piece puzzle onto the table. I'm much more accustomed to finding that "next piece" one piece at a time as it fits neatly into the space I was seeking to fill. This pile of pieces being thrown out there for me to sort through has been a bit different to experience. Still, I'm here for it, and I'm ready to sort. 

I really don't know what to do with all I've been given in these past few days. So many questions have found answers and so much peace exists in it all, even in the midst of sharing from a difficult place and perspective about painful situations. 

This past week, I've found a renewed and strengthened passion around my purpose and values, and I've discovered courage I didn't know existed within me. 

In it all, I have seen the goodness of God repeatedly ... in processing pain, in sharing some of that pain, in gratefulness, in frustration, in confusion, in so many countless ways. I haven't always seen the goodness of God in the pain, or maybe, I just haven't recognized it all that much until now.

I've found this principle of life to be true ... what we seek, we find. If we are looking for (expecting) to find negativity, we'll find negativity. If we are expecting blessings, we'll find blessings. This doesn't mean that negativity doesn't exist outside of our mindset. There are certainly the influences of darkness in motion, but I've come to realize in several instances over the past several years and increasingly so this past week, that if I seek light in a dark situation, I'll find light. 

I wish I could go back to some of my darkest days with the mindset I now have. I think hope would have been more prevalent in my life. Although, truthfully, I can look back to some of those moments where hope WAS present and see how it saved me in that moment. 

I'm learning that God's love and goodness is limitless, despite any circumstances we face. Even when it feels like the situation is crushing us, God's goodness is still present. It may look like the hand of a stranger helping or a shoulder of a friend to cry on or a last-minute rescue in a moment of panic or a kind word or prayers in a time of need or so many other possibilities, but we can and will see it if we are willing to look for it. 

Today has been a day of learning, reflection and gratitude. 

When I set out to do this 30-day journey, I was excited to see where it would take me, but I had ZERO expectations around it. I had simply planned to focus a little time each day on a scripture, some prayer and showing intentional kindness in my daily interactions. 

For years now, reading scripture has been very difficult for me. As a child of ministry leaders in a very conservative church culture, I grew up with scripture being not only a daily part of our routine but also a part of the majority of our everyday conversations. I lived with this routine well into my 30's, until one day, I just couldn't stand to read scripture anymore. I was so tired of it being twisted and used to manipulate or hold people emotionally hostage in fear, that even verses that once brought me joy and comfort became a source of irritation instead. To this day, it is still a challenge to read certain scriptures without having feelings of anger and frustration well up inside. 

Now that I am seeing God more as a loving guide and not so much as a sadistic dictator, scripture reads much differently for me and with much less angst.

Still, it's been a slow process including scripture back into my life. Because of this, I had no plan in place to follow this month - no book or chapters I planned to read. I simply just wanted to wake each day and see what the day held. I wanted to remain open to search out verses that might meet a need or answer a question at hand, possibly even just wait until a verse from the back of my memory surfaced. I basically wanted to face each day with an open heart and mind to what God wanted to bring for that day. 

At nearly the halfway point of the month, I've reflected throughout the day on how this journey has brought some great life lessons and answers to some long-standing questions I've had, and ultimately, new meaning to my life. There have been some tough days and some moments of confusion, but in those moments, I have been reminded that I am well cared for and that details are working together for my good. I'm grateful for this goodness, and I'm grateful that I can be a catalyst for good in this grand scheme of life. 

Today was weird. 

I read something early in the day that really challenged my beliefs around some of the basic tenants of the faith. I've learned to hold most of my beliefs loosely as I've had to deconstruct so many of them in trying to understand God and my relationship with Him. Most of the time, I'm simply challenged to look a little deeper or wider to see the big picture of the whole - to take out what's unnecessary and keep a hold of what's most important for living a loving and fruitful life. However, today, this was different. This challenged me to look at some things in a totally different light, and it shook me a bit. 

Truthfully, I'm not sure what to make of it all yet, so I'm just processing it thus far. One thing it did force me to do is to reconcile myself again with what I believe to be some of the most important parts of our purpose here on earth. 

For me, it comes down to 3 things:

1) God created us as an act of love and goodness because he wanted us here and in friendship with Him. 

2) God created us in his likeness to carry out a divine purpose of sharing that likeness (love) with others. 

2) God wants us to live a good life filled with purpose, joy and abundance.

When I find myself faced with unforeseen situations and unpleasant circumstances or (like today) new knowledge and ideas that challenge my beliefs and faith, I often come back to these things to re-center myself.