God is good.
That is what I contemplated all day today.
The weekend was rough. I still have a lot to process around it, especially my surprise reactions to it all.
For the past several years, I have had a very good handle on what has been known to trigger me. (Personally, I hate using that word because I believe it has become quite a bit over-used these days, but for lack of something better, that is what it was.) I've been so proud of myself for not letting those types of things have a deep negative effect on me anymore. However, sometimes, things just come out of the blue from places you least expect and the unexpected has a way of tripping us up.
This past weekend, I tripped hard.
I let the unintentional words and actions from someone cut deep. Yes, the words could have been softer or left unsaid, but it was through this experience that I realized there were more layers to unpack in this healing journey of mine.
I'm extremely grateful when these situations can be reconciled - another evidence that more healing is taking place.
A friend shared that she reminds herself that "this is the pain of healing, not the pain of repeating trauma" and I found that so comforting. The pain can trick us into thinking that the action of the trauma is still there even if it's years in the past.
Healing can be a beautiful dance, though, even with its ups and downs, if we can stay focused on the healing part. However, when we lose that focus and zero in on nothing but the trauma, it's like dancing with 2 left feet or a broken leg ... clumsy and awkward with ample opportunities for some serious bumps and bruises.
In those moments when we lose focus on the path, I'm grateful that comfort is there for us if we surround ourselves with a good support system.
For myself, I've found that God brings comfort during these times in so many ways ... through friends, through prayer, through gentle reminders in nature, through reconciliation and through courage to sit and cry as well as strength to rise again.
"He gives strength to the weary, And to the one who lacks might He increases power." - Isaiah 40:29
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